Why I’ll Never Manage Money for Anyone for Free Again

a year ago, a relative asked me to help manage her money

The account had been set up through her ex, but since she wanted a clean break, she was ready to move her money and asked for my guidance

We scheduled a call—just I do with consulting clients—to go over her financial situation, goals, and concerns

From there, we created an investment strategy designed to preserve her lifestyle and reduce the risk of running out of money

As an artist, finance was not something she really understood or ever got into

Since she was also looking for a new brokerage, I Fidelity, where I’ve had my accounts for over 20 years

I'm familiar with their platform, and with her permission, I’d be able to view her portfolio and make trades on her behalf

However, after a year, I don't want to manage money for anyone for free again

It's nothing personal

I would just more time and energy for my family

Why I'd To Stop Managing Money or Free We agreed on an asset allocation, and I built it out for her

Her portfolio steadily climbed to all-time highs, and I didn’t hear from her once

I felt ud to grow her wealth, especially since she doesn’t earn much active income

Her portfolio will be her main financial support in the future

I explained the situation and tried to calm her nerves

Then came the inevitable question: “What should we do now. ”—a fair concern for anyone who has entrusted their money to someone else

But now I was started to feel the pressure

Note: If you have over $100,000 in investable assets, you can receive a free financial analysis from an Empower advisor by signing up here

An annual review is always worthwhile as your asset allocation can shift significantly over time, and your financial situation may evolve as well

We all have financial blindspots that are worth recognizing to build more future wealth

To Some, Outperforming Is Not Enough I reminded her of our game plan and emphasized the importance of staying the course

I also d my outlook on why the would ly rebound

From my perspective, that was a win

But from her perspective, I had still lost her money

And since she wasn’t a fan of the current administration, the situation felt even more frustrating to her

It didn’t really matter that I highlighted her portfolio’s outperformance or the rationale behind a balanced allocation

She was disappointed—and that, in turn, chipped away at some of my emotional resilience

It doesn't feel good to help someone who is disappointed in your help

Already Stressed With My Own Losses At the time, I was already stressed my own portfolio losses, which were apaching seven figures

I was buying the dip, watching values continue to fall, and doing my best to stay calm

But deep down, I felt look a damn fool for buying too early with my stable real estate sale ceeds

Her stress added to mine, and I had to compartmentalize my own emotions to reassure her

It left me with less patience for my wife and kids, which was the biggest negative since I love them more than anything

And when I’m losing a lot of money, I admit I tend to have a shorter fuse

During the bull market, I didn’t hear a word of acknowledgement

But as soon as things took a turn, I was met with concern and urgency

Again, totally understandable

However, I was cast in the role of an unpaid employee, bringing back the very feelings of underappreciation that pushed me to leave the traditional workforce

If I’m expected to actively manage someone’s portfolio and vide emotional support and education during downturns, there needs to be compensation or boundaries

Otherwise, I’d rather preserve my energy for writing and taking care of the kiddos

As a result, I'm not cut out to be a money manager at this stage in my life

The blem With Double Fees I was happy to help move my relative’s funds away from GSAM to reduce the double fees she was paying

Now, I’m not against hiring an asset manager if you genuinely don’t have the time, interest, or knowledge to manage your own money

Paying a fessional to build a risk-appriate portfolio is far better than sitting in cash and missing out on decades of compounding

A good manager can also serve as an emotional buffer—helping prevent panic selling during downturns and reckless speculation during bull

But paying double fees—especially as your portfolio grows—adds up quickly

She needed to move her money—and I was glad to help her do it

Only Reason To Pay Double Fees The only real justification for such fees is if the manager offers access to exclusive private investments with meaningful upside—say, a hot AI company ly to IPO at a much higher valuation in a year or two

But in this case, there was no such access

I reviewed the historical performance of these funds, which was often difficult to find and intentionally opaque

But by simply comparing her portfolio value from a decade ago to when I started managing it, the compounded returns were ly underwhelming

The double fees weren’t just costly—they were a drag on long-term performance

In Defense of Getting Paid to Manage Money Most DIY investors, myself included, aim to minimize fees

But after managing a relative’s portfolio for a year, I now get why financial fessionals charge what they do—the emotional labor is real

Managing money is relatively easy when are rising

It’s during downturns that things get difficult

And when you're managing money for a family member, the emotional stakes are even higher

You don’t want to let them down

Advisors aren’t just managing assets; they’re managing expectations, fears, and behaviors

For that reason alone, they deserve to be compensated

That said, fees should be fair and transparent

Something less—with a tiered structure that declines as assets grow—makes more sense

The Three Main Benefits Of Hiring A Money Manager The real value of hiring a money manager is peace of mind

Knowing someone is actively looking after your portfolio means you can focus on doing what you enjoy or excel at, without constantly worrying market volatility or portfolio drift

Reducing the mental load is huge, especially for parents juggling work and childcare

During times of stress, it's reassuring to know someone else is thinking ways to tect your wealth

The second big benefit is consistency

A good advisor helps you stay disciplined— regularly, staying diversified, and adjusting risk over time

Even as a committed DIY investor, I’ve had long stretches where I didn’t invest simply because life got in the way

The third benefit is accountability

A trusted advisor can act as a financial coach, helping you through on your goals

It’s one thing to know what you should be doing—it’s another to actually do it

Regular check-ins and objective back can keep you on track, especially during major life transitions or periods of uncertainty

A financial fessional who helps with these three areas is well worth it

If you’re receiving active service and your portfolio is meeting expectations, great

But if not, it’s only rational to explore better options

I'm Stuck Managing the Money—But Not My Emotions I’m OK to help my relative create an investment plan

After all, it’s something I’ve done for others for over 15 years

I also love to people money when there is a way to do so

But I also need to tect my time and mental well-being, which means learning to emotionally detach

My long-term goal is to teach her how to manage her own money

The challenge is, she struggles with learning finances

Ironically, this makes her the exact type of person who benefits most from having someone manage her money for her

So while I’ll continue to oversee her portfolio, I’m adjusting both the investment strategy and my mindset to reduce stress

She’s on board with the new, slightly more conservative asset allocation, which falls within an appriate range for her age and long-term financial goals

That cushion gives both of us more resilience in down

So the next time a concerned message comes through, I’ll remind both of us just how much she’s saving

Appreciation Goes A Long Way If someone is managing your portfolio for free, don’t forget to show your appreciation

A simple thank-you note can go a long way

And if you don’t have someone to manage your money for free, consider hiring a money manager at a reasonable price

The reduction in stress alone may be well worth the cost

Readers, do any of you manage a friend or relative’s money for free

If so, how have you structured that arrangement—and how do you handle the stress when they’re anxious market volatility, especially while your own portfolio is also taking a hit

It’s a no-obligation way to have a seasoned expert, who builds and analyzes portfolios for a living, review your finances

A fresh set of eyes could uncover hidden fees, inefficient allocations, or opportunities to optimize—giving you greater clarity and confidence in your financial plan

As both a longtime user and affiliate partner, I’m genuinely pleased with the value they’ve consistently dered over the years

The statement is vided to you by Financial Samurai (“moter”) who has entered into a written referral agreement with Empower Advisory Group, LLC (“EAG”)

Click here to learn more

With an MBA from Berkeley and 13 years of experience at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse, he helps readers achieve financial freedom sooner

Sam is currently in residential commercial real estate and AI companies through Fundrise

Finally, to build greater wealth, pick up a copy of his upcoming bestseller, Millionaire Milestones: Simple Steps To Seven Figures

It'll be the best personal finance book you'll ever read

Notify of new -up s new replies to my s Label {} [+] Name* * Website for the private Financial Samurai . Δ Label {} [+] Name* * Website for the private Financial Samurai . Δ 0 s Newest Oldest Most Voted Inline backs View all s.