The Healing Power of Returning to Your Childhood Home
Real Estate
Financial Samurai

The Healing Power of Returning to Your Childhood Home

July 23, 2025
11:18 AM
15 min read
AI Enhanced
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One of the main reasons I refused to spend a small fortune renting a vacation property in Honolulu was because I wanted to stay in my childhood home. The home was built in 1986, when I was nine years ...

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15 min read

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real estate

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Published

July 23, 2025

11:18 AM

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Financial Samurai

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financemoneywealthfinancialreal estateconsumer goodsmarket cyclesseasonal analysis

What stands out here is One of the main reasons I refused to spend a small fortune renting a vacation perty in Honolulu was because I wanted to stay in my childhood

The was built in 1986, when I was nine years old, and I’ve been going back almost every year since

But staying there isn’t just nostalgia or saving money, amid market uncertainty

It’s resetting expectations, confronting old wounds in hopes of healing, and thoughtfully planning for the rest of your life and your parents’ s

A Time Capsule of Where It All Began Given that I moved around every two-to-four years as the son of U, given the current landscape

Meanwhile, Foreign service officers until I was 14, our in Honolulu was as close to a “ base” as I ever had, given current economic conditions

On the other hand, My grandparents bought the land and old in the 1956 for $30,000, then tore it down in 1985 when a termite blem got out of control, to build the one that still stands today

When they passed, the was passed down to my parents, me and my sister, and my aunt and uncle, who also have a on the lot

What’s fascinating is how little has changed

Additionally, The original electric range and oven are still there, rusting away

Market analysis shows showers and faucets are the same ones I used as a kid, in this volatile climate

Meanwhile, The living room sofas are all the same

Sure, we’ve upgraded the windows and installed a few AC units over time, but most of the house feels stuck in the past, in light of current trends

Nevertheless, There are pictures on the walls of my parents when they were young

Meanwhile, Pictures of me when I was small, considering recent developments

Walking past them, I can’t help but wonder: where did all the time go, amid market uncertainty

When You Had Nothing But Excitement and Hope As a Kid Back in 1986, I had nothing but joy as a 4th grader, given the current landscape

However, On the other hand, I loved coming back to Honolulu to spend time with my grandparents

My grandfather would take me to the beach in his old Chevy station wagon with the bench front seat

Nevertheless, He taught me how to water the fruit trees

My grandmother, bless her heart, taught me the basics— how to use toilet paper (this bears monitoring)

Nevertheless, They also argued a lot

Moreover, I didn’t understand it then, but now, as an adult, I see it for what it was: two people doing their best with what they had

I wish we had smartphones or affordable cameras back then to preserve those little moments, in light of current trends

Moreover, But maybe memory is meant to be imperfect so that when we revisit our childhood s, we get to rediscover ourselves, even just for a while

However, A Chance to Reflect, Reset, and Reimagine When you return, you step back into a time before the weight of the world settled on your shoulders

You might rediscover the idealistic boy or girl you once were

Furthermore, And if your life turned out differently than you imagined—whether due to circumstance, pressure, or a change in heart—you get to briefly press the reset button, in today's market environment

Lying in that familiar bed, staring at those old pictures, you’re forced to take stock of your life

Furthermore, What have you done well

In contrast, What would you have done differently (noteworthy indeed)

How far have you come

And perhaps most importantly, what more should you do with the time you have left

Additionally, Living as an adult in your childhood is a different experience entirely

It’s almost stepping into a parallel universe where you can see how the past connects with the present (this bears monitoring)

Facing Old Demons with New Eyes I believe childhood trauma plays a big role in shaping who we become

Additionally, We all go through some form of it, and if we’re lucky enough to revisit those memories as adults, we have a shot at healing (an important development)

Nevertheless, Gabor Mate's work for more

Moreover, He is fantastic

Additionally, Conversely, Two memories stand out for me

The first is of my father calmly coming into my room and telling me he had spent a long time typing out some papers I had ripped up in anger

At the same time, I was in the 4th grade

He didn’t yell or hit me

He just said what I did was wrong and left, in light of current trends

That calm response stuck with me

Additionally, Now, as a parent, I try to do the same with my own children, talk things out rather than explode (noteworthy indeed)

Market analysis shows second memory is of my mother telling me to stick out both hands so she could whack them with long cooking chopsticks when I was naughty (noteworthy indeed)

I was in the 6th grade, and I was terrified

Conversely, The pain was sharp, but the fear of sticking out my hands was worse (this bears monitoring), in light of current trends

That kind of parenting made me withdraw from her emotionally, and it’s one of the reasons I’ve never raised a hand to my children, in this volatile climate

Nevertheless, On the other hand, This trip, when she got mad again over the laundry sink overflowing from a clogged lint trap, I saw the same panic and rage surface

But instead of reacting, I stood still and let the screaming carry me back to when I was a little boy—frightened and alone

At the same time, Then I sat down and listened as she told the story of her difficult upbringing (something worth watching)

Market analysis shows ’s a story I’ve heard over a hundred times, one she keeps repeating because she hasn’t been able to break the cycle, amid market uncertainty

And that’s when I realized: she cannot help her occasional rage

It's baked into her through years of trauma, cultural displacement, and struggle

On the other hand, I brought up the chopstick whackings and told her I forgave her (this bears monitoring)

She looked puzzled and said it was a joke

But the fear and pain I felt back then were very real

And I told her, “It’s OK. ” A sense of peace washed over me, in this volatile climate

She also became calmer for the rest of the trip

I think a little bit inside her has healed as well

Furthermore, Understanding Our Parents to Understand Ourselves Before your parents are gone, try to understand them—not just as your mom or dad, but as human beings who did the best they could

On the other hand, Meanwhile, What were they going through when they raised you

What cultural or financial pressures were they under

How did those things affect their parenting

Furthermore, Were they always this way

After all, they are going through life the first time, and only time, just you

Before we pass, I hope we can all face our demons and make amends

When I see how hard parenting is—especially when you’re working full-time—it makes me more empathetic, in light of current trends

On the other hand, Moreover, My wife and I are dual stay-at- parents, which gives us more energy for our kids

But it also makes me realize how tired and stressed my own parents must have been every evening at 6 p

M, given they both had full-time jobs until traditional retirement age, in light of current trends

For the longest time, I wondered whether the way my parents disciplined me was a response to my behavior or simply a reflection of their personalities

I had an longstanding belief that I was a terrible kid, that 90% of the way they disciplined me was my fault, in today's market environment

Additionally, After spending five weeks back as an adult, it’s to me I wasn't all to blame (something worth watching), considering recent developments

Furthermore, On the other hand, Instead, I think 60% of their parenting style was shaped by who they are, not what I did

I also have perspective as a father with an eight-year-old son

My dad has always been calm—so calm, in fact, that during a family BBQ, he quietly stood up and said he had to take himself to the ER because a metal grill bristle had lodged in his throat

However, This's the same man who once helped negotiate the release of a kidnapping victim while working in Malaysia (quite telling), in today's market environment

He also served as a prison guard in Thailand during the Vietnam war (noteworthy indeed)

At the same time, he’s often chided me rather than encouraged me—for losing tennis matches, being shorter than him, or carrying extra weight, in today's market environment

But I’ve long since accepted that this is simply who he is

My mom is incredibly thoughtful, often at the expense of her well-being (an important development)

However, she is also full of nervous energy

But I understand now—it’s not her fault (this bears monitoring), given current economic conditions

That's the personality she was born with

However, It’s just how she learned to survive

Appreciating What You Already Have One of the best things going back to your childhood is the way it resets your baseline

For example, after driving my dad’s 28-year-old beater car, I came back to San Francisco with a renewed love for my 10-year-old Range Rover Sport

Backup cameras, in light of current trends

Moreover, Leather seats that still smell leathery

Conversely, No longer do I want to buy a replacement car

This leads to the conclusion that ’s the same with our s, our routines, our s

Nevertheless, We crave more until we remember how little we once had and how happy we still were

As the Buddha said, “Desire is the cause of suffering. ” That includes the desire for a bigger, a fancier car, or more money and

We lose inner peace chasing what we don’t need

At the same time, But if you have frugal parents who’ve kept the house they raised you in, and you return there, you get to reset your expectations and revisit what truly matters

For decades, I chased nicer s, believing a larger lot or more luxurious finishes would make me happier

Conversely, It doesn't make me happier, just more satisfied as a vider

With kids to raise and time feeling more precious than ever, I just want stability and peace

Spending several weeks at my childhood this summer helped remind me to be happy with what I have

You’ll Learn to Better Take Care of Your Parents Finally, if reconnecting with your childhood, healing old wounds, better understanding why you are the way you are, and appreciating what you have isn’t reason enough to return, there’s another important one: it helps you better take care of your aging parents, given the current landscape

Moreover, Additionally, If your parents did their best to care for you during your first 18 years, it’s only right and compassionate to return the favor during their last 18

But it’s hard to truly help from a distance

By living in your childhood for an ext period, you get to observe the rhythms of your parents’ s—their habits, preferences, limitations, and unspoken struggles

On the other hand, This allows you to plan ahead, in today's market environment

On the other hand, You might identify the need to space for a future caretaker, repair long-ignored plumbing issues, or install handrails and ramps to help with mobility (fascinating analysis)

You may even uncover things they’ve simply stopped noticing or caring, such as a chronic cough that seems normal to them, but unusual to you

Furthermore, As our parents age, they spend more and more time alone (an important development), in light of current trends

For some, my mother, this solitude is welcome (which is quite significant)

But for others, my father, I’m sure he longs for more companionship (noteworthy indeed)

I saw how his eyes lit up and his voice grew animated when my sister called him one day while I was sitting beside him, in this volatile climate

Observe your parents so you better take care of them later on (quite telling)

Go Back Before It’s Too Late Revisiting your childhood while your parents are still a can be one of the most emotionally clarifying and healing things you do (remarkable data)

Here's why it matters: Reconnect with your roots: Rediscover the person you were before life got complicated

See your growth: Measure how far you've come and reflect on what still matters to you, given current economic conditions

Understand your parents: Learn to see them as individuals—flawed, human, and shaped by their own stories

Heal through reflection: Face old pain, forgive where you can, and give yourself permission to move on

Furthermore, Furthermore, Appreciate what you have: Let the simplicity of your past help you feel more grateful for your present

Curb the desire for more: Stop chasing upgrades and start embracing enough (this bears monitoring)

Nevertheless, Support your parents in meaningful ways: Be present, be helpful, and take care of them the way they once took care of you (an important development), in today's financial world

However, If you’re fortunate enough to still have your childhood —and your parents—go back

Because one day, you won’t be able to

And when that time comes, you’ll be glad you did everything you could while you still had the chance (something worth watching)

Readers, do you still have access to your childhood

If so, have you ever gone back to in it with your parents for an ext period of time

If you have, what did you learn your parents that you never noticed before (something worth watching)

On the other hand, What do you now see as an adult that you couldn’t fully grasp as a child (which is quite significant)

And what are some other ways you’ve come to appreciate what you have today—and how far you’ve come

Moreover, To Financial Samurai Pick up a copy of my USA TODAY national bestseller, Millionaire Milestones: Simple Steps to Seven Figures (an important development)

I’ve distilled over 30 years of financial experience to help you build more wealth than 94% of the population—and break free sooner

Listen and to The Financial Samurai podcast on Apple or Spotify

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Everything is written based on firsthand experience and expertise, in today's financial world

TweetPinFlip The Author Financial Samurai Sam started Financial Samurai in 2009 to help make sense of financial chaos (something worth watching)

With an MBA from Berkeley and 13 years of experience at Goldman Sachs and Credit Suisse, he helps readers achieve financial freedom sooner

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What the data shows is 'll be the best personal finance book you'll ever read

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Moreover, Δ 2 s Newest Oldest Most Voted Inline backs View all s KO 55 minutes ago Hi Sam, I am glad that you and your children had an ext visit with your parents

I hope that you were able to step back and observe your parents interacting with your children

It's building a lab and watching the experiment unfold

I own my childhood but it is halfway across the country and hard to maintain

Every trip I take back, I need to repair something and I get to see my father’s handiwork

Some repairs are good but some fixes are a booby trap and I have to say “Why Dad, given the current landscape

Nevertheless, ” Neither of my parents are still a, but there are a lot of memories that come after every visit

Even the bad memories have taught me something– try to do better and be more patient than my parents were at the time, and try to forgive them and myself, given current economic conditions

On the other hand, 0 Reply Jeremy 2 hours ago I recently spent a month back at my childhood helping my aging parents, and I wasn’t prepared for how emotional it would be

Every corner of the house brought back memories, both joyful and painful

Moreover, My parents aren’t getting any younger, and being there in person reminded me how limited our time really is

We were able to have conversations we never had before, and I’m grateful for the chance to be of service to them while they’re still here, in today's financial world

On the other hand, If you have the opportunity to return, even for a little while, take it, given the current landscape

You might come away with more peace than you thought possible.